I was wrong to think that no harm would come from living life with an artist’s idealistic desire to find beauty in everything, no matter how ugly and evil others may perceive the objects of my fascination. My desire soon became a compulsion, and in desperation to focus on what is good and beautiful, I blinded myself to anything that did not constitute a gift or positive attribute. I made myself vulnerable to the more sinister energies in this universe and have fallen into a loop that feels never ending, bad decisions, self destructive behaviours and indulging in the wicked temptress’ sweet but poisonous fruit time and time again, my circuitous path meanders and loops back through the same treacherous obstacles, creating a kaleidoscopic map, set only to become more intricately layered, for the artist that controls me sees the beauty in pain, and has grown fond of the shapes created by the tessellated ruins left behind again and again, as I fail to learn the lessons that should be taken from the hurdles that obstruct my path, creating a perilously, hazardous road that I must continue to travel. What a bittersweet loveliness it is to loathe the struggle but respect the beauty demonstrated in continuing despite all the odds being against success. Welcome to my hopeless existence, the life that I however foolishly it may be, have convinced myself that I live. Welcome to my Kaleidos-DOPE #poetry #art #beauty #kaleidoscope #reality #finelinebetweenpleasureandpain #beautyinpain


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