Ex-Snapchat Whore

In a time before the app boasted features such as accessible celebrity updates and puppy dog filters that somehow improve your looks no matter who you are, Snapchat came along and while most tentatively dipped their toes before easing into the pond, I took a runup and jumped straight in, with a 12/10 splash impact score! The professional name of my condition – Snapchat Whore (SW) – sorry mum, there just isn’t a family appropriate alternative to describe my condition. It is a fast working disease that will usually take control of a person’s life within a coupke of days, It had me gripped by the balls in mere hours!10255212_10201008542415037_553386431082228651_n

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Now, this is not to be confuse with a person whi is a Snappy Slut (SS). The easiest way to describe a snapchat slut – Think thirsty, like year without rain, lost in the dessert level thirsty – thirsty for the D obvi, but moreso for attention, sending out their Noodz to basically everyone in their friends list in the hopes of getting a few compliments and ultimately the title ‘Snapchat Famous’. I’m not saying that I wasn’t a SS, in fact, I may have even been THSnappy Slut at the time  –  ‘My Story’ regularly featured full frontal nuditty visible for the full 24hr period after posting? (Again, sorry mum). I just didn’t think that there was anything wrong or problematic with baring it all, in the name of art, of course! 

Suddenly I was under the delusion that every mundane moment in my life needed to be documented and that my adoring followers would not be able to function in there own lives, if they didn’t receive a thorough play-by-play of every minute of my life. Making a coffee went from being a quick task to a full scale production involving makeup, wardrobe changes, lighting adjustments and retakes – It was exhausting, I was getting nothing done, I needed to take a break.

So that is why, even though Snapchat has steadily risen in popularity thanks to a generation of oversharing teens and adding new features like filters and face-swap, I was reluctant to jump back on the train for fear that I may fall off the sobriety wagon and become controlled once again by my addiction to Snapchat. But after much soul searching I have decided that I am ready to rejoin the App and the I won’t fall back into my old ways.

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Okay, maybe I’ll just cut back on the posts by a little bit. Blame the filters, they are just too much fun.

JUST KIDDING — I PROMISE JUST AS MANY SELFIES AS EVER.

I even Snapchatted writing this post!

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I’M BACK, BITCHES!

Want to check it out for yourself?

scan this code in the app

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@stevie_h91

comment your own username if you would like me to follow you back!

Stay sassy!

xx

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