Bye bye or I die – AMA 2017

The latest round of your favourite sartorial satire game. By now I’m sure you know how it works so let’s just jump straight in…

I will hold out on judging model of the moment and hostess with the mostest, Gigi Hadid for the moment as her outfit changes truly deserve a post of there own. 

Ariana Grande 

I die 

This look has me so torn because I honestly love it but I am so angry at Ari for not having her pants tailored. If I didn’t love her so much her foot-swamping mishap would have been enough for me to send this look packing. But the lacy bustier, blingy choker, nude nails and that burgundy lip are all to die for. I don’t usually give people second chances though, so consider this your one and only pardon, Miss Grande. 

Janelle Monae 

I die

Did I ever mention that Cruella deVille was one of my ultimate style icons? With that said, it must come as nosuprise that I love this outfit. 

Keke Palmer


I die 

Keke is loving herself sick and can you blame her? She is wearing this chain mail two piece, matching choker, Anastasia’s glasses, oversized plush faux fur and metallic pink strappy  sandal like it is nobodies business and she is killing it.

Noah Cyrus 

Bye bye 

It would appear that in an effort to carve out her own name she has worn the most un-Miley outfit she could find, not to mention long dark locks being the polar opposite to Miley’s peroxide crop. Unfortunately the resulting choices have made her look like she is in costume as a peasant from the 1800’s. 

Chrissy Teigen

Bye bye 

The only explanation for this poorly pinned piece of scrap fabric is that after giving birth to daughter Luna, Chrissy freshened up her hoohaa with a little vaginal rejuvenation and is so happy with the results she wanted to share it with the world. Cute shoes though. 

Bella Thorne 

Bye bye 

More like Bella Thorne in my side. Since turning 18, It feels more like she is trying to convince us that she is off the rails than her actually being off the rails. Her antics are obnoxious and boringly predictable from a Disney star trying to let us know they are all grown up – cue punk rock dye job, sexy social media snaps, bad-ass septum piercing and risqué outfit choices. If I were Miley I’d be taking out a restraining order pronto because this performance is starting to get a little too single white female for my liking. This is a case of desperation detracting from an otherwise gr at outfit. 

I die 

I literally had to screenshot this pic because I had no idea who this was – apparently she modeled in the most recent Yeezy show. I fucking love this. Sexy and sophisticated and the hair and makeup are the most perfect choices to complete the look. Well done, I may just have to remember your name. 

Joan Smalls

I die

This look has been put on plenty of people’s worst dressed lists. I don’t even know why I feel the way I do so I’m not even going to try to explain my verdict but something about this look makes me love it. 

Another name I don’t know

Bye bye

This could have been amazing with either a nude or matching purple lace bra and underwear set. Instead she chose black. That and her hair and makeup which completely missed the mark are the reasons why this girl shall remain nameless to me for now. 

Julianne Hough

Bye bye 

If fat X-Tina at the Grammys (you know the look I’m talking about) and Kesha had a baby we now know what it would look like. This is not nice. 

Lady Gaga 

I die 

Yeah girl, you slay that pant suit. Her tits look great and although the whole hat thing is starting to get a little tired it works here. 

Nina Dobrev

Bye bye

She looks way too much like the white version of R&B legend Cassie. Weird. 

Heidi Klum 

Bye bye 

Looks like Heidi’s gone off her meds again. 



Bye bye 

Nowhere on the invite did it say to dress as the robot from Star Wars (R2D2’s gay lover)

Karlie Kloss

Bye bye 

I have always had a worryingly strong distaste for this praying mantis posing as a woman so this abortion of an outfit is making me grin from ear to ear

Selena Gomez

I die

Last but definitely not least, Selena Gomez made her first public appearance since her most recent stint in rehab and what a perfect outfit choice for the occasion. This classic Prada ball gown has her looking every bit the wholesome princess and does wonders for her figure (not that any assistance is needed)
So another round done and dusted. Do you agree with my decisions? Was I unfairly critical of an outfit or celebrity? I’d love to hear your opinions, so please comment below. 

If you enjoyed this post or any of my previous offerings, the lols are better when you have someone to share them with so don’t be a greedy bitch and share via your social media pages. 
Sassy Queer

Over and out 

(Of the closet)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s