The latest round of your favourite sartorial satire game. By now I’m sure you know how it works so let’s just jump straight in…
I will hold out on judging model of the moment and hostess with the mostest, Gigi Hadid for the moment as her outfit changes truly deserve a post of there own.
This look has me so torn because I honestly love it but I am so angry at Ari for not having her pants tailored. If I didn’t love her so much her foot-swamping mishap would have been enough for me to send this look packing. But the lacy bustier, blingy choker, nude nails and that burgundy lip are all to die for. I don’t usually give people second chances though, so consider this your one and only pardon, Miss Grande.
Did I ever mention that Cruella deVille was one of my ultimate style icons? With that said, it must come as nosuprise that I love this outfit.
Keke is loving herself sick and can you blame her? She is wearing this chain mail two piece, matching choker, Anastasia’s glasses, oversized plush faux fur and metallic pink strappy sandal like it is nobodies business and she is killing it.
It would appear that in an effort to carve out her own name she has worn the most un-Miley outfit she could find, not to mention long dark locks being the polar opposite to Miley’s peroxide crop. Unfortunately the resulting choices have made her look like she is in costume as a peasant from the 1800’s.
The only explanation for this poorly pinned piece of scrap fabric is that after giving birth to daughter Luna, Chrissy freshened up her hoohaa with a little vaginal rejuvenation and is so happy with the results she wanted to share it with the world. Cute shoes though.
More like Bella Thorne in my side. Since turning 18, It feels more like she is trying to convince us that she is off the rails than her actually being off the rails. Her antics are obnoxious and boringly predictable from a Disney star trying to let us know they are all grown up – cue punk rock dye job, sexy social media snaps, bad-ass septum piercing and risqué outfit choices. If I were Miley I’d be taking out a restraining order pronto because this performance is starting to get a little too single white female for my liking. This is a case of desperation detracting from an otherwise gr at outfit.
I literally had to screenshot this pic because I had no idea who this was – apparently she modeled in the most recent Yeezy show. I fucking love this. Sexy and sophisticated and the hair and makeup are the most perfect choices to complete the look. Well done, I may just have to remember your name.
This look has been put on plenty of people’s worst dressed lists. I don’t even know why I feel the way I do so I’m not even going to try to explain my verdict but something about this look makes me love it.
Another name I don’t know
This could have been amazing with either a nude or matching purple lace bra and underwear set. Instead she chose black. That and her hair and makeup which completely missed the mark are the reasons why this girl shall remain nameless to me for now.
If fat X-Tina at the Grammys (you know the look I’m talking about) and Kesha had a baby we now know what it would look like. This is not nice.
Yeah girl, you slay that pant suit. Her tits look great and although the whole hat thing is starting to get a little tired it works here.
She looks way too much like the white version of R&B legend Cassie. Weird.
Looks like Heidi’s gone off her meds again.
Nowhere on the invite did it say to dress as the robot from Star Wars (R2D2’s gay lover)
I have always had a worryingly strong distaste for this praying mantis posing as a woman so this abortion of an outfit is making me grin from ear to ear
Last but definitely not least, Selena Gomez made her first public appearance since her most recent stint in rehab and what a perfect outfit choice for the occasion. This classic Prada ball gown has her looking every bit the wholesome princess and does wonders for her figure (not that any assistance is needed)
So another round done and dusted. Do you agree with my decisions? Was I unfairly critical of an outfit or celebrity? I’d love to hear your opinions, so please comment below.
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Over and out
(Of the closet)